I love movies.
I love actually going to the movies. The fresh popcorn, the brand-new trailers, and the fact that I can just escape for two hours.
But you know the one thing about movie trailers that gets me – the actual trailer. It always gets me to the movie. And think about it, how many bad movie trailers have you seen? Probably none. Maybe one in your lifetime?
For the most part, the movie trailers are great. And then you go to the movie, and the movie sucks. It sucks so much that you wonder why you ever came to see it. This is because we believe the movie trailer was as good as the actual movie.
Now, how does that relate to you today? Just look at your social media feed. Take note of yourself while scrolling other people’s pages, other people’s pictures. Have you ever felt a slight bit of jealousy? Have ever felt disappointment because you learned about something regarding a friend on Facebook instead of from your friend?
There’s all types of emotions that our social media feeds generate in us. And a lot of them are disappointment, envy, and comparison. Really, all of our social feeds are, are movie trailers.
Think about it. No one posts the bad shit on their Facebook feed. Rarely do you see anything terrible. It’s always a #humblebrag, or here’s a victorious picture of me. No one talks about the time they went to a speaking event and two people showed up, except for maybe Jon Acuff.
Nobody likes to share they are down in the dumps. They share their highlight reel – they share their movie trailer. Keep that in mind this week when you’re scrolling through your feed. I catch myself too. There are times that I can’t help but compare my entire movie – my whole story – with someone else’s movie trailer. And it generates all sorts of bad, shit feelings in me. And so how do you combat this?
One, you have to acknowledge what you’re feeling. Once you feel it, acknowledge it. Acknowledge, man, I’m feeling jealousy over this issue. Saying it, takes away some of it power.
Two, understand that you are just showing you a snippet of reality. You do not see their entire story. “The champion on top didn’t just fall there,” quote reveals that every champion had an entire climb before the peak. Each winner has an entire back story that you may never be aware of. So understand that there is a lot of shit going on in the world that they may have had to overcome to get where they are. And don’t let where they are cause you to stumble where you are – and where you’re headed.
Third, be authentic in your own journey. Understand as much as we get upset and have these horrible feelings internally while comparing ourselves to others, there’s a lot of people out there doing the same thing to our feeds. They’re looking at what you’re posting. They’re looking at your victory pictures and they’re assuming that you just got there. They don’t understand everything that you went through.
What do you wish people knew about your journey? Many people in our Facebook group commented about things that they wish others knew but that they don’t. Others assume past certain parts of our story. So I encourage you to keep that in mind when you’re posting online – it’s powerful for people to see the whole story.
You know, nobody walks into a movie theatre, watches a movie trailer and then leaves the theatre changed. It’s not a life changing moment. It’s there to get you excited and make you want more.
But how many people have walked out of a movie changed? The entire story has shifted their perspective, and perhaps, awoken a part of them they’d forgotten about. They’re motivated or inspired. The entire story – the journey of the person facing the obstacle, overcoming obstacle after obstacle, and eventually winning, – leaves us motivated, that is what gets us inspired, that is what creates change.
So just like you, the people around you are not going to be changed by your movie trailer.
They’re going to be changed by your entire movie, your entire story of what you’ve overcome.
So share that, and be authentic. My friend Chris Smith says, “A story not shared doesn’t serve.” Spot on.
Unless they know what we’ve overcome and how we can do it, how they can do it as well like we did, they won’t be changed. So I’m encouraging you this week, don’t fall into the comparison trap on social media. It’s just a movie trailer and for all we know it could be a c + movie, and not a 5 star winner.
Second, admit to yourself when you’re feeling these feelings. And third, be authentic in your own post. Talk about the times when things don’t go your way just as much as you talk about the victories. It’s OK to be transparent. It’s OK to be honest.
Most importantly, it’s OK because it’s you being you.